About my Practice.
At Flourish, I respectfully help you hear and make sense of your feelings, responses & behaviours. With humility, honesty and empathy, I hope to create an environment where you can feel safe enough to be you.
Within the therapeutic relationship, we can mindfully explore your experience of life transitions, such as bereavement, career, relationship change/ending, gender, childbirth, sexuality, estrangement, diagnosis, etc. I can also support your awareness and self-understanding to reclaim personal power around difficulties that may be related to addiction, disordered eating, OCD, and compulsive behaviours.
As a trauma-aware, I acknowledge that many coping mechanisms, responses, and conditions are manifestations and adaptations to stressful or adverse events and environments. These may be exacerbated by, or induced by the impact of early adverse experiences and instability, plus past/present layers of inequality, including those subjected to abuses of power, such as neglect, racial gender, sexual orientation, disability discrimination, social injustice and bullying; financial inequality, health poverty, and environmental, and political insecurity.
What I offer.
Centred on you.
The person-centred, relational approach means I strive to return control to you. My position isn’t to advise, instead, it is to create a therapeutic space to help you feel supported, understood and welcomed.
I do not pathologise. I do work to aid long-term change through self-understanding, self-compassion and a clearer allocation of responsibility.
The therapeutic process may offer a discovery of your fall-back or default positions and responses that can replicate the past or influence your perspective or behaviour. However, there are no definitive answers to what you discover in therapy nor how you change. Furthermore, the change you find may not be what you expected or would have originally chosen.
Perhaps you would like to attend counselling as you notice unwelcome behaviour and feelings. You may experience panic, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, compulsivity, low mood, or lethargy. I also understand the challenges when you feel there’s not a clear reason to explore counselling, as if you should ‘cope better’ however ‘you survive rather than thrive’.
Why Attend.
Questions and Answers.
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I meet with individuals, couples, young people (14+), families and groups. This can be in the counselling room, online, or outdoors, either as talking or creative expression. EMDR is available on discussion.
My recommendation is a minimum of six sessions (although you are of course, free to choose). If you are looking for brief (time-limited) counselling, it can be good to estimate what you have in mind to establish what is realistic and safe enough. Please bear in mind that there is no normal; rather, due to ethical implications, I simply establish if what you present can be aligned to the number of sessions.
Contraindications, meaning markers that indicate against ‘short term’ work’ thus a potential cause of harm may include: multiple incidences of abuse, single incident trauma, abuse/neglect in early relationships, or, something that severely shaped or knocked a sense of reality. The perception and impact of trauma can vary significantly depending upon the individual, however, it tends to be that the process of change and living differently can take more time. It is also likely that what is unseen but felt as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, numbness, or behaviour, such as disordered eating, harmful compulsivity, or addiction is the consequence of other aspects of your life and experience, and so it is not always the problem in themselves. Sessions can open Pandora’s Box. If more becomes known, your re-assessment of the number of sessions may be necessary. 50-minute regular individual session.
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You may seek support following a life event, including but not limited to identity transitions, changes in your health, trauma(s), or the gaining of something that you feel ill-equipped or unworthy of. Perhaps you have had early adverse experiences, had difficult primary attachments/relationships, or have witnessed or been subject to ongoing abuse, neglect, violence, and traumas. This may include the experiencing of discrimination in one or numerous areas of your life, such as an inequality that likely impacts your sense of belonging, safety and personal power. Perhaps you have been responsible for something you are now taking responsibility for or want to learn how. Maybe you have identified feelings or noticed an absence of emotion. There could be behaviour that tells you ‘something’s wrong’ or at least ‘not quite right’. Possibly, there’s something in how you feel or behave in your situation or relationships that you would like to understand or change.
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Many reasons occur for you to enter into therapy with another. You may be looking to repair your relationship following a breach of trust, or you are struggling with changes in your life that impact the relationship. Ongoing argument, silence or varied aggressive behaviours can be stressors that cause conflict, a shutdown or both. The consequence can be relational aloneness that further limits the opportunity for you to understand each other. Disconnection can occur on a physical, soulful, or emotional level. Your default ways of coping or unhealthy habits of managing emotions will most likely fuel the fire. You may also be drawn into seeing your partner, or yourself in a particular way and act out accordingly, yet the risk of self-expression and authenticity could feel daunting.
Speaking to someone outside of friends and family can be helpful, as a professional can equally hold the perspectives of both or all individuals. For the client, it can also be beneficial to witness someone else listening to the other person, as well as being heard themselves. The extra space created from this process can offer an opportunity for you to identify what actions or changes you feel could make a difference. On the whole, it can be a very healthy process. Though it’s also worth noting, that moving something within the relationship, does not always mean a better relationship, sometimes it highlights that a better ending is what you’re looking for. 60 - 90 minutes
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Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an approach to therapy developed in the late 1980s by clinical psychologist Dr Francine Shapiro. It is used within Counselling, Coaching etc, to accelerate the client’s processing of traumatic, trapped memories, consequently shifting associated behavioural patterns. EMDR is influenced by the humanistic approach of client-centred therapy, which assumes humans have a natural capacity towards growth and to integrate experiences. Theoretically, it is the capacity for change, alongside certain therapeutic attitudes, that are key characteristics of this method. However, unlike a client- or person-centred approach, this method is directive, meaning whilst working through the protocol, you are led by the therapist to complete the specific eight phases, which include the activation of the trauma.
Shapiro considers humans to have an adaptive information processing (AIP) system, whereby memories are stored with interlinked networks, organised around the earliest event of a particular category, including the associations of this event. When experiences have not been processed due to an overwhelm of the brain alarm system, it can lead to reactions that can cause further distress, as well as reduced functioning, and accompanying unhealthy behaviours of coping. EMDR facilitates the exploration and processing of negative and distressing memories to bring where is stuck into a resolution as such, more parts of you can be in flow. Find out more - EMDR (downloadable PDF) 60 minutes.
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For all initial in-person sessions we meet in the accessible, bright, yet cosy counselling room in central Hamble. The counselling room is on the first floor of a community building, see - location. It has a lift, disabled toilets, disabled parking, and is a nut and food-free space. Please let me know if I can accommodate further adjustments. If connecting via Zoom – the link available will be forwarded to you during our initial contact.
An alternative to meeting in the room following our initial meeting is Walk & Talk. An activity fairly self-explanatory, we walk and talk outdoors amongst the woodland, and upon the shoreline. If you have restricted mobility we can meet at an agreed outdoor location. If opting for creative expression, arts and sand tray Creative we meet in the counselling room. With notice, this can be facilitated outdoors. 45 - 55 minutes.
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When in agreement to work remotely, I will invite you to share your address, number, and emergency contact in case of a situation whereby you are in danger and I need to call fire, ambulance or police. If you are based abroad I will need to check on whether accessing my service will not cause harm (i.e., communication monitoring and local legislation). As remote I will need to discuss with you aspects of access and formalities that are protective for both you and I.
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If cancellation is necessary, please let me know. Contact via email is the preferred means of communication. I appreciate as much notice as possible; I also endeavour to do the same if circumstances arise. If cancelled 24 hours before the session without exceptional circumstances, I do ask for 50% payment. I will invite you to pay the full cost of the session if the cancellation is on the second consecutive week. I am afraid I would need the full cost to hold the space - otherwise, I assume you no longer require sessions. The same applies to online sessions. There are distinctions to the above as I understand ‘things can happen’. Payment is expected before the session, unless otherwise agreed.
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I am afraid I cannot work with clients whom I know, or we share someone that we’re close to, as this can cause a conflict of interest, thus impair both personal and professional relationships. If it is established that we have someone in common, then I will need to offer you a referral. If ending with couples or groups, I am unable to immediately work separately with one person, this is because I’d have likely allied with the other party, who has been significant within your process. If there’s violence towards me or towards a person you are in therapy with, then I will end the session and cancel any further scheduled meetings.
It may also be identified that it’s harmful for you to start therapy due to your situation. Or do you have expectations of solely relying on counselling for a reduction in addictive substance use? It could be the case that you would like someone informed by lived experience similar to your own, or that the service you are seeking isn’t counselling. As such, I will provide a referral. For further legal and ethical limitations, see - Ethical & Legal.